True Confession Tuesday: I Am Still a Wanna-Be

Where every Tuesday – I confess.

Confession: I am still a wanna-be.

I’m a wanna-be ninja. You know – like the ones you see on the tv show American Ninja Warrior. Or – like the ones I see in real life at the ninja gym. Real people – like me. But they are NINJAS.

They have incredible strength, flexibility, agility, strength (yes more strength) and can do outrageous tricks. Me. Well, I try to hang on the bar.

Here’s the real truth. Every single time I step foot into the ninja gym – I have a conversation with myself. It goes a little something like this.

Self – You are going learn new skills, practice, fall, get back up and most importantly BE POSITIVE AND HAVE FUN.

But my inner self says things like this.

Inner Self – You are horrible at this. You should try harder. Why can’t you do a pull up? You think you’re so strong, but you can’t do any of these cool tricks.

And then they argue. My self and my inner self get into an argument as I’m trying to flail my body across the rings or the rolling dice or attempting to run up a wall.




And yet I go back. Again and again and again.

It sure would be easy to give up and say “this isn’t for me. I’ll go back to what I’m comfortable doing.”

But that’s not where we grow. That is not the space where we develop.

I have to tell my inner self to be quiet. I have to work on my mindset and my attitude. I can tell you that I’m having way more fun at ninja training than I did a year ago. Why? Because I got over myself and my unbelievably false expectations.

Why in the world should I expect to be able to do tricks and skills by just walking into the gym?

That’s insane. But my inner self tells me I should be able to do it.

Why do I get mad when I can’t do a pull (or more than one) when I don’t work specifically on pull ups every day?

If you want to get better at a skill – you should probably practice it every day.

Why do I get so frustrated when I can’t hold my body weight up by my fingertips on a small ledge?

Well. This one is laughable. Really self? You expect to hold ALL of your body weight by just your fingertips? Funny.

Why do I think I can run up a 14 foot wall?

Yeah. A wall. That’s not really logical. Our bodies are not made to run up walls.

Seriously. Our minds play the worst tricks on us. After a lot of practice (and much more is clearly needed) I can identify as soon as these crazy self defeating thoughts enter my head and I can attack them and go on with my training.

We should probably also spend a moment appreciating how these ninjas got so ninja good. Well, they practiced. A LOT. (Yes I do think some ninjas are blessed to have the right body type, but I digress). They practice, they practice, and they practice. Just like if you wanted to learn a language, or an instrument, or any new skill. Chances are – you won’t learn it by just showing up to the lesson.

And you have to enjoy the process. It wouldn’t be any fun in life if you were good at everything right away. What else would I do with my Friday nights if I didn’t go to the ninja gym? 🙂 It will be so much sweeter when I get that pull up knowing how much work and effort went into it.

This applies to so many areas of our life. I see this with my business every day. The self and the inner self argue about what I SHOULD know, how far I SHOULD be, how far behind I am compared to others (this one is a trap!), and so on and so on. If you’re not aware and catching these self-defeating thoughts, they will take you down so fast. And the worst part is – you’ll start to believe them.

You have to first wake up and identify all these negative thoughts running wild in your head. Then you have to have a reality check with yourself and establish if any of these thoughts are valid or have anything to back them up Then you start to combat them any time they creep in.


Chances are – I won’t be on the show American Ninja Warrior anytime soon (or ever) but I am finally enjoying the process of learning new skills, finding weaknesses, and building myself up one warped wall run at a time.

All while being kind, motivating, and encouraging to myself while kicking that inner self to the curb.

So, when you’re going outside of your comfort zone, always keep reaching higher!


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  1. Kate on March 23, 2017 at 9:42 pm

    Toooooootallly. I really believe that everyone has similar experiences. I know I do. I think I am getting better at managing those pesky gremlins in my brain who always let me know that I shouldn’t try whatever it is because I am not good enough…but it’s a journey! I doubt they will ever fully go away, but at least I know to ignore them and some days are better than others!

    • Lindsey Heiserman on March 24, 2017 at 2:59 am

      It’s challenging isn’t it? Each day is different for sure. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!!

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