Where every Tuesday: I confess.
*This is the ninth confession sent to my email subscribers. If you’d like the most current confessions sent straight to your inbox in real time, head to my homepage, sign up, and download your free gift.*
Confession: Last week I had a true adult temper tantrum. It started on the phone and I was somewhat rude to the woman on the phone who was trying to help me. Then I pouted. And I stomped around a bit. Of course I took to FB to talk about my frustrations. I proceeded to then feel mad, frustrated, and upset,UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
And it really, really, really, bugged me for the rest of the day.
My temper tantrum happened because I called the Student Loan people for the 4th time in a month and every single time I call – they tell me something different. I can’t fix what I want to fix and that damn interest just keeps racking up. It is MADDENING. And I felt sorry for myself. Sorry for myself because I owe so much money, sorry for myself because I’m envisioning all the cool things I could do/buy with all that money. Sorry for myself because other people don’t have that debt (comparison trap). Sorry for myself because……well just because.
And I left my temper tantrum alone for a few days. Then I listened to an outstanding podcast yesterday that really put me in time out for my tantrum.
The guest was a woman named Amanda.
Amanda Enayati had to flee from her home country of Iran when she was a kid (without her parents), lived in the West Village in NYC during 9/11, worked as an attorney for years and then got late-stage breast cancer (while raising two small children).
How could I possibly feel sorry for myself after listening to her story? The story about “stress” of my student loans is a choice I am making to stress out about it. Truly, I am so damn lucky to have the opportunity to go to both undergrad and graduate school. I am who I am because of that amazing education and the experience I had.
What I also loved about her on the podcast is the research she has done about stress. She pointed out that stressful situations (not student loans) but truly life altering experiences (cancer, fleeing a country, poverty, etc) actually leave marks in your brain and change your brain chemistry. (Forgive me if I completely misquoted that). But the bottom line is – stress can be good for you if you learn from it and use your learning.
And let’s also not forget the effect gratitude has on our health and decreasing our perceived stress. I have so much to be grateful for, including those amazingly high student loans.
So I ask you –
Have you thrown an adult temper tantrum lately?
Have you experienced a truly life altering experience?
Have you been grateful?
And I would love for you to take the time and listen to this podcast. It might change the way you think about stress.