Where every Tuesday: I Confess
*This is the 28th confession sent to my email subscribers. If you’d like the most current confessions sent straight to your inbox in real time, head to my homepage, sign up, and download your free gift.*
Confession: I am like a toddler who is always asking “why? why? why?” and a teenager who refuses to clean their room, and an adult who doesn’t want to do something because it doesn’t make sense to them. This tends to annoy people.
I also threw the biggest temper tantrum of my life when I was asked to vacuum for the first time. I just didn’t see the purpose or the value in it just yet. Years later – vacuuming and how nice the carpet looked became very gratifying and I enjoyed it.
At work I would always struggle to do a task if I didn’t understand why it was important. This would sometimes make me look disrespectful or rude. But in my head and my brain, it simply didn’t make sense.
I need to understand WHY and if that takes a lot of questions, then so be it. I don’t just blindly do something.
And now I know why. I don’t just have the brain of a small toddler. I am a “QUESTIONER” I have been following Gretchen Rubin’s work for awhile and I’m really excited about her new book “Better Than Before” as our January book club book. I learned from her quiz online about “the Four Tendencies” that I am a questioner. It all makes sense now.
This is my description as a questioner. Does it sound like you?
Questioners question all expectations, and they respond to an expectation only if they conclude that it makes sense. They’re motivated by reason, logic, and fairness. They wake up and think, “What needs to get done today, and why?” They decide for themselves whether a course of action is a good idea, and they resist doing anything that seems to lack sound purpose. Essentially, they turn all expectations into inner expectations. Because Questioners want to make well-considered decisions and come to their own conclusions, they’re very intellectually engaged, and they’re often willing to do exhaustive research. If they decide there’s sufficient basis for an expectation, they’ll follow it; they won’t follow it if they think it’s arbitrary or ineffective. They tend to take direction only from people they respect. At times, people get tired of feeding a Questioner’s appetite for information and justification. Questioners themselves sometimes complain that they suffer “analysis paralysis,” or wish they could accept expectations without probing them so relentlessly. Questioners are motivated by sound reasons—or at least what they believe to be sound reasons. In fact, to others, Questioners can sometimes seem like crackpots, because they may reject expert opinion in favor of their own conclusions.
Well folks, that about sums it up. I understand now why people get fed up with my incessant need to ask questions. And Gretchen Rubin described my type of tendency as a CRACK POT. That’s funny.
But the bottom line is that often get so frustrated with ourselves and with others because we can’t communicate. I get frustrated when people ask me to do stupid things (as in, things I find no purpose). I get frustrated when I ask why and people don’t want to to tell me why.
Do yourself a favor, go to Gretchen Rubin’s site , take the quiz and find out if you’re a whiny toddler like me or maybe a rebel? An upholder? Or an obliger?
One last thing – my report about being a questioner also says that questioners tend to also lean towards rebel or upholder as their secondary tendency. Hmmm I think I know which one I am. Can you say rebel????
Don’t forget to join us for Healthy Living Book Club to talk about this book and our tendencies on January 27th at 6pm.
Until then check out my Pinterest board with links to more info.