Why Do We Talk to Ourselves This Way? (Episode 113)

Yesterday at my business networking meeting we played a game. Everyone gets 60 seconds to give a commercial, ask for the kind of referral they are looking for, and basically advertise for their business.

What happens a lot during those 60 seconds is people will use the phrases “I’m looking for somebody who……” “A good referral is anybody who…..” You get the idea.

In order to make ourselves more effective I had us play a game. If at anytime during your commercial you said any of those words, we could interrupt you and buzz you.

This was a fun and interactive way to be more mindful of what you were saying, how you were saying it and to be very specific in what you were asking for.

We had some good laughs and I have to say that our commercials improved because we were being mindful AND I think more referrals were given because of the specificity of the ask.

This got me thinking about our own internal thoughts about ourselves. I wish I had someone walking around the inside of my head buzzing me every time I had a negative thought about myself, my abilities, what’s happening in life, my goals, my food choices, etc.

Have you ever wandered into the kitchen and started mindlessly eating? I’ve always thought it would be great to have something jump out of the fridge and say “NO – you don’t actually want that – go to sleep”

Would you agree that how and what you think directly impacts the results you get in life?

Take a minute and really think about that. And if you agree, your next question is “Am I actually saying nice things to myself and asking for what I want very specifically?”


Whoops. I can guarantee you that if I’m not careful, most of the day I spend saying things that aren’t supportive of myself, my goals, and they really derail me. It’s also not as easy to always be focused on the positives and keep your mind right because we have a lot going on, we have a lot of emotions and also sometimes we need real support with our mental health.

The video below is funny, but also very accurate for many. If you struggle with serious mental health issues, please ask for help. If you’re not sure where or what to do, please message me. 



If you watched the video and laughed like I did, you also probably stopped and thought “Oh crap – many of those people show up in my life everyday.”

Wouldn’t it be nice, like I mentioned earlier, if someone was around to interject and BUZZ us every time we had a negative thought, we put ourselves down, we decide we can’t do something even before we start, etc???

Have you also heard the phrase “What you focus on, grows.”

Well isn’t that the damn truth? If you are always focused on:

  • Lack
  • Scarcity
  • What you don’t have
  • How much your life sucks
  • How much you have been shorted in life
  • Comparing your life to others
  • Claiming that other people are simply lucky
  • How you are dumb, incapable and never going to meet your goals
  • All the times you did not meet your goals
  • And all things about how you are so horrible at everything and your life is terrible



As outrageous as it may seem, I want to challenge you to BUZZ yourself anytime you catch yourself saying mean thoughts in your head, discounting your own ability, giving up on your goals, comparing your horrible life to others, and so on.

I know I will have a lot of BUZZ’ing to do. It’s our human nature.

BUT – what if – instead of all the negative stuff – you focused on:

  • Gratitude
  • How strong you really are
  • Your unique talents and gifts
  • All the hardships you have already overcome and conquered

And to cap it off, while you’re being positive and in a state of gratitude, spend some time actually asking for exactly what you want in life. Not asking for “somebody, anybody and everybody” but declaring what it is you want.





If you’re looking for more resources on how to train your brain to actually stay positive and help you with your goals – check out a site called Neuro Gym and the book Innercize.

I like this blog post from them – http://blog.myneurogym.com/steps-to-help-you-make-better-decisions

I would love to know how you do with your positive thinking and real goal setting.

And how many times did you have to BUZZ yourself and catch yourself in the negative??





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