Episode 68 – You Are Creating The Cycle

This is a preview of what is sure to be an incredible podcast episode with life coach Steph Gold. I heard her interviewed on a podcast with my friend Andrea and I knew I wanted her on my show.

I’m gearing up for a series of power packed episodes for the New Year to help you think outside of your normal resolutions.

So I had Andrea introduce us and we had a chat the other day and as we were talking about clients she says…..

“You know how people buy a program or sign up for something, then they don’t do it because they don’t actually want to change or they aren’t ready and then they use the fact that they didn’t do it or get the result to beat themselves up and then the cycle repeats?”


I was nodding my head in agreement about the first part – yes we all do that. We sign up for something, with the best of intentions because we really (maybe) want to get the result or change. But the part about using it to then turn around and beat ourselves up about it really hit me.

Do you do this? 

I sure do.

Here’s one small example.

I have always wanted to do a pull up. And I have lifted weights and gone to ninja class and done stuff that I “expect” would get me a pull up. Then I was whining and complaining to a friend about how I can’t do one (problem #1-complaining) and she said “Well what have you ACTUALLY DONE to work on your pull ups?”

Uhhhhhh….Ummmmmmm……I stuttered along. I guess I really hadn’t dedicated myself to a serious pull up progression program. Why? Because it would be HARD and complaining about NOT doing a pull up is easier than doing the work.

But I still continued to beat myself up about not doing a pull or doing the work to get a pull up.

Here’s another example:

In business – I have ideas and dreams of what I want to do. So I purchase a program (it promises results) and I don’t dedicate myself to it. Then I continue the cycle beating myself up about not getting the results I want. But…I didn’t do the work.

Because no matter the place we are in today – even if it’s miserable – taking a step (and actually dedicating ourselves to the work) is harder and scarier -even if the result is what we actually desire.

As humans it’s more comfortable to stay miserable sometimes.

This applies to so many areas of life:

  • Relationships – do your relationships need some real work? Work that you are prepared to do? Or is it easier to stay in the every day monotony?
  • Health – I see this all the time. People ready to exercise but do not want to commit to changing anything about their diet but constantly complain about not getting results.
  • Sleep – I know I need more sleep but somehow I’m still scrolling FB before bed and then beating myself up about not getting enough sleep.
  • Work – If you are miserable in your job job but can’t seem to find the guts or strength to start the search for a new job.

Those are just a few examples and hopefully you can see yourself in some of these scenarios.

I have really been processing this ever since my chat with Steph and realizing that this pattern of behavior shows up a lot for me personally (and in so many of my friends, family and clients).

Hopefully today you can take some time to think about how you create this cycle and what you can do about it.

The first thing to do is to uncover what you are actually scared of if you got the result you desired and you had actually put in the work. Because usually on the other side of something like this is a NEW life. 

And that can be scary but also VERY EXCITING.

So tell me – how does this play out in your life?





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