An important reminder as you walk into the new year. Whether you are a person who loves the "fresh start" feeling of the new year or you don't pay much attention to it, this reminder is for you.
During the Life Adventure Collective January workshop all about identity based goals, I paused in the middle of the workshop to talk about the feeling of being broken.
For me personally, I have spent much of my life coming from a place of feeling like I need to "fix" something.
- My body
- My work
- My income
- My house
- My goals
- My diet
- My mindset
- My habits
It would often show up in the words I would use. For example, I would say "If I could JUST fix (insert something here)"
And while yes, we all have things we desire to change, it does not mean you are broken. Even when life hands you really hard challenges and you feel like you are broken, you the person, the human being, are not broken. You may FEEL broken, but that's different.
This also would show up for me in my goal setting. I would set these fairly arbitrary goals that sounded good, looked good on paper but never really came true. I wasn't truly connected to them on a positive note, I just wanted the goals to fix me.
And SURPRISE - they never fixed me. I usually just let the goals pass me by and then justified it in my mind. And if I'm being honest, this feeling kept me distant from what I actually wanted to work on and the ways in which I wanted to grow.
So one day I simply decided I was going to stop (work on stopping) approaching life from this standpoint of feeling broken. And instead focus on behaviors and habits that I didn't necessarily like and work on them.
The difference was the deep inside feelings. It's really easy to trash talk yourself and come up with all the ways you're broken and can't do something. It creates easy excuses and reasons to not really connect with yourself. It's much more challenging to step up to your own plate and acknowledge areas you desire to work on, but from a worthy person point of view.
This is why the workshop on identity based goals was so powerful (for me too!) because we focused on who we desire to BE. Not external goals we set because we think we need to, or have to, or we are trying to "fix" ourselves.
So this year as you are setting goals, resolutions or simply growing as a human, ask yourself these 3 questions.
- How would I look at myself and my goals differently if I thought I was a really awesome person? A person who is worthy and full and complete.
- What would I change if I was doing something just for me?
- What habits or goals would excite me?
This year my intentions and habits are going to support ME and growing from an already awesome place and not one from lack. I catch myself a lot in my past "broken" mindset and I am more and more able to identify it and change how I'm approaching it.
Happy 2023 to you and cheers to being more of who you are, which is a pretty rad person!
If you're interested in learning more about the Life Adventure Collective, you can find more information HERE.
When you join, you have access to all of the content including all of our past workshops, private podcasts and community discussions.
The January workshop was "My Identity" where we focused on moving into identity based habits, wins and then outcomes. You can watch the replay once you join. I hope to see you there!